Lifestyle
Infertility can impact your relationship: How to deal with it
In order for a marriage to survive the crisis of infertility, couples have to learn to continue to make “deposits” and “tend the garden.” Understanding the ways in which the stress of infertility can strain a relationship, couples must make special efforts to put positive energy into a marriage during this time. If you are an infertile couple, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship so that it grows and thrives. The following are some tips to help you along the way:
Infertility can impact your relationship: How to deal with it
Infertility is a common problem among couples these days. Inability to conceive after one year of unprotected intercourse is defined as infertility in medical terminology. As per the latest 2023 World Health Organization report, it has been estimated that 1 in 6 couples worldwide will suffer from infertility. It can be quite a distressing time for couples.
Infertility can be one of the biggest reasons why couples are unable to sustain their relationship. Here’s how you should nurture a healthy relationship while dealing with infertility issues.
Tips for Improving Your Relationship During Infertility
Work as a team:
No matter who is identified as “the patient,” infertility is a couple’s problem. Always approach the issues as a team, working together and finding ways to share responsibility regarding treatment. Avoid finger-pointing as no one ever wins the blame game.
Plan playtime:
Since dealing with infertility can feel like a full-time job, it’s important to “take time off” by consciously making time for each other. Have regular dates where you can have fun and take a break from infertility. Vacations are also playtime, and having things to look forward that are under your control is positive. Look for ways to put nurturing energies into your relationship, making your partner a priority.
Separate baby-making from love-making:
Infertility often puts strain on a couple’s sexual relationship and what was once fun has now become a tiresome job. You may want to designate different rooms in your house for intimate work versus play. Remember the ways you enjoyed sex early on in your relationship and find ways to recreate it. Plan romantic encounters during non-fertile times, such as taking a bubble bath together or giving a massage. Understand that sexual intimacy does not mean intercourse, and use your imagination to plan recreational sex.
Build a support system:
Couples often have an unconscious expectation that their spouse will be capable of taking care of all their emotional needs. It is a daunting task during infertility and an impossibility for any relationship. Infertility can be an isolating experience and put undue pressure on a partner to provide all emotional support. Support from others can strengthen relationships, particularly during times of stress. Encourage friendships for you, your spouse, and as a couple. Work towards balance in your support network by having friends both in and outside of the infertility world.
Identify individual coping styles under stress:
Know your own and your partner’s styles for handling stress. Learning how to accept differences in the way each of you handles and deals with your feelings can reduce conflicts. Like many things in life, men and women will feel and deal with infertility differently. However, different does not mean better or worse; it merely means not the same.
Give breathing room in your relationship:
Realize that marriages are fluid and in a constant state of change due to many external and internal factors in your life, including infertility. During times of tension, try to give each other some space and distance to allow for transition. Understand that couples are seldom at the same place, at the same time, when at healing crossroads.
Communicate the positives:
Often we neglect to communicate our positive feelings to our partner, and all he or she may hear are negative ones. Changes in behavior come more from positive reinforcement than from negative one. In addition, infertility may consume your life and engulf all your conversations. It may be necessary to put limits on the time you talk about infertility to designated periods, such as 20 minutes in the evening, so that it does not overtake all of your communication.
Keep a sense of humor:
No matter how difficult things get, being able to find something humorous about the situation helps to relieve the tension. Laughing together is good for health of your relationship.
Seek help before problems get too big:
Infertility can put dire strains on relationships and couples need to consider counseling as a resource of support and information to deal with problems. If you find that you’re at an impasse or your usual coping strategies aren’t working in the relationship, counseling may help. Do not wait until things get critical. Ask your doctor or visit the American Society of Reproductive Medicine website for a list of mental health professionals specializing in infertility.
Remember you will be able to get through your fertility journey with ease and sans stress if your relationship is not affected by it too much! Keeping these tips in mind, you should try your best to foster a healthy relationship.