Are you always too nice to others? Stop people pleasing and prioritize self-care

Are you always too nice to others? Stop people pleasing and prioritize self-care

This article covers people-pleasing traits, as well as the causes of this behavior and the negative effects it can have. It also discusses tips to help you stop putting others before your own well-being and ensure you take care of your own needs.

Signs You Might Be a People-pleasing

There are a number of attributes that people-pleasing tend to share. Some various people-pleasing behaviors include:

1. You have a hard time saying “no”.
2. You are preoccupied with what others might think.
3. You feel guilty when you do tell people “no.”
4. You are afraid that turning people down will make them think you are mean or selfish.
5. You agree to things you do not like or do things you do not want to do.
6. You struggle with feelings of low self esteem.
7. You want people to like you and feel that doing things for them would earn their approval.
8. You are always telling people you are sorry.
9. You take the blame even when something is not your fault.
10. You never have any free time because you are always doing things for others.
11. You ignore your own needs in order to do things for others.
12. You pretend to agree with people even though you feel otherwise.

Reasons Why Being Too Nice Is Bad For A Relationship

Being too nice in a relationship usually tends to end negatively. Here are some of the reasons:

1. Lack of self-individuality
   When one person in a committed relationship is extremely pleasant, that person runs the risk of losing their sense of self. They lose themselves in the process, as their partner’s life and achievements cast a shadow over them, says the expert. Maintaining a strong sense of self is extremely important for personal happiness and a healthy, balanced relationship.
2. Suppression of choices
   When you don’t express your opinion on anything and simply agree with your partner’s views to keep them pleased, you start to bottle-up your own feelings and choices. It can be as little as deciding which food to eat.
3. Emotional neglect
   When someone is excessively focused on pleasing their partner, they may end up neglecting their own emotional needs. By constantly prioritizing their partner’s feelings, they might fail to address their own feelings and emotional well-being. Over time, this can lead to emotional exhaustion and a feeling of neglect, says the expert.
4. Unequal power dynamics
   Being overly nice can create an imbalance in the power dynamics within the relationship. A person who consistently prioritizes their partner’s needs may unknowingly give away their personal power, leading to an unhealthy dependency. Equal power dynamics are vital for maintaining mutual respect and a sense of equality.
5. Lack of boundaries
   When a person keeps giving in to others’ demands and giving up on their own desires, it can lead to resentment and frustration. Establishing healthy boundaries ensures that the needs of both people in the relationship are met and respected.
6. Communication problems
   Being too nice can sometimes inhibit open communication in a relationship. When one person continually seeks to please the other, they might avoid expressing their concerns or engaging in difficult conversations. This lack of honest communication can create misunderstandings and prevent resolution of underlying issues.
7. Difficulty in conflict resolution
   Excess niceness can make it challenging to address and resolve conflicts effectively. The fear of confrontation and the desire to maintain harmony might prevent necessary discussions and the resolution of underlying issues. Healthy relationship is all about open and honest communication.
8. Enabling negative behavior
   Being constantly accommodating and being too nice can enable negative behavior in a partner. By always forgiving and making excuses for their actions, the person might be reinforcing patterns that are harmful or toxic.
9. Unrealistic expectations
   When you establish the practice of placing your partner before yourself, you also grow some irrational expectations of how you should treat them and expect them to return the favor, which ultimately breaks your heart.
10. Lack of authenticity
    When someone continually tries to please their partner, they might suppress their true thoughts and feelings to avoid conflict. This can result in a lack of authenticity and genuine connection in the relationship.

The notion of being kind in a relationship or any other social situation has been ingrained in women from time immemorial. But women need to quit being too nice in order to become more independent and lead fulfilling lives and relationships.