Are you always too nice to others? Stop people pleasing and prioritize self-care
If you are a people-pleaser, it could mean that you are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. While being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally exhausted, stressed, and anxious.
This article covers people-pleasing traits, as well as the causes of this behavior and the negative effects it can have. It also discusses tips to help you stop putting others before your own well-being and ensure you take care of your own needs.
Being too nice in a relationship usually tends to end negatively. Here are some of the reasons:
Lack of self-individuality When one person in a committed relationship is extremely pleasant, that person runs the risk of losing their sense of self. They lose themselves in the process, as their partner’s life and achievements cast a shadow over them, says the expert. Maintaining a strong sense of self is extremely important for personal happiness and a healthy, balanced relationship.
Suppression of choices When you don’t express your opinion on anything and simply agree with your partner’s views to keep them pleased, you start to bottle-up your own feelings and choices. It can be as little as deciding which food to eat.
Emotional neglect When someone is excessively focused on pleasing their partner, they may end up neglecting their own emotional needs. By constantly prioritizing their partner’s feelings, they might fail to address their own feelings and emotional well-being. Over time, this can lead to emotional exhaustion and a feeling of neglect, says the expert.
Unequal power dynamics Being overly nice can create an imbalance in the power dynamics within the relationship. A person who consistently prioritizes their partner’s needs may unknowingly give away their personal power, leading to an unhealthy dependency. Equal power dynamics are vital for maintaining mutual respect and a sense of equality.
Lack of boundaries When a person keeps giving in to others’ demands and giving up on their own desires, it can lead to resentment and frustration. Establishing healthy boundaries ensures that the needs of both people in the relationship are met and respected.
Communication problems Being too nice can sometimes inhibit open communication in a relationship. When one person continually seeks to please the other, they might avoid expressing their concerns or engaging in difficult conversations. This lack of honest communication can create misunderstandings and prevent resolution of underlying issues.
Difficulty in conflict resolution Excess niceness can make it challenging to address and resolve conflicts effectively. The fear of confrontation and the desire to maintain harmony might prevent necessary discussions and the resolution of underlying issues. Healthy relationship is all about open and honest communication.
Enabling negative behavior Being constantly accommodating and being too nice can enable negative behavior in a partner. By always forgiving and making excuses for their actions, the person might be reinforcing patterns that are harmful or toxic.
Unrealistic expectations When you establish the practice of placing your partner before yourself, you also grow some irrational expectations of how you should treat them and expect them to return the favor, which ultimately breaks your heart.
Lack of authenticity When someone continually tries to please their partner, they might suppress their true thoughts and feelings to avoid conflict. This can result in a lack of authenticity and genuine connection in the relationship.
The notion of being kind in a relationship or any other social situation has been ingrained in women from time immemorial. But women need to quit being too nice in order to become more independent and lead fulfilling lives and relationships.
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