Advantages of Arranged Marriage – Best Points to Change Your Mind!

Advantages of arranged marriage – Why people don’t agree?

The advantages of arranged marriage are not apparent.

Educated Indians and those living in cities seem to be running away from arranged marriages because of valid reasons. The debate between love marriage and arranged marriage is raging on as more and more young men and women see arranged marriage as a death sentence!

There are some bad things about arranged marriage that turn people off. Here are top reasons people hate organized marriages:

1. People think all arranged marriages are forced marriages!
   Some Indians and Westerners confuse arranged marriages with forced marriages. Whereas child marriages and forced marriages are still prevalent in India, arranged marriages are not bad if you can still have the final say about who you will marry.
2. Matrimony sites have not made it better
   Matrimony sites have done their bit to create a fright among young Indians about arranged marriages. Their stereotypical approach to matchmaking provides very little incentive for men and women to use these sites and only reinforces everything wrong about arranged marriages.
3. Matrimony ads in newspapers are no good
   Matrimony advertisements in newspapers provide fodder for ridicule. They reinforce everything bad about arranged marriages such as too much focus on skin colour, money, and caste while leaving our important factors that could make a marriage successful.
4. Bollywood has a huge role to play in the preference for love marriage.
   The constant diet of movies that glorify ‘dating’ (aka dancing around trees) has created an impression that the best way to get married is through dating and falling in love. Also, the kind of love that movies depict are glorified harassment and stalking!
5. The growing influence of western culture
   Exposure to dating apps and an increase in international travel has exposed young Indians to alternatives for arranged marriages that seems more aligned to the present context. They see love marriages and dating as fashionable.

Additionally, greater financial freedom and independent lifestyle are giving young Indians an opportunity to go on dates or pursue relationships before marriage.

Advantages of arranged marriage: Finding love

1. No need to deal with dating pressures
   The challenge of finding someone who can fall in love with you and sign up to getting married is difficult. Find the love of your life on your own is like playing Russian Roulette. You cannot win or get shot badly. Introvert men and women find it difficult to express themselves or approach people from the opposite gender. No matter how modern you are, striking a conversation with a stranger or asking somebody out is a difficult challenge that has spawned an entire industry of dating gurus.

2. You don’t have to deal with stressful breakups
   Falling in love is tough on your knees and bad for your heart if you don’t find your soulmate in one go. Taylor Swift bases nearly all her songs on failed relationships and makes the most out of them. Unfortunately, for less mortals, all we are left with is heartbreak and rejection. There is no such issue in organized marriages. When prospective matches turn you down in organized marriages, there is a limited emotional attachment to worry about!

3. You can expect a larger commitment from the other person
   The intent of matchmaking through organized marriages is very clear. There is no doubt in anybody’s mind about the outcome of the matchmaking process. In love marriages, you may discover well after you have emotionally invested into a relationship that your soulmate wants to remain a bachelor for life or is not ready for a long-term commitment.

Advantages of arranged marriage: Rational thinking

1. Arranged marriages help you plan for the future
   One of the benefits of arranged marriage is that your parents are constantly worried about your future when you are busy enjoying the single life and partying with your friends. There is no way you wake up one day and discover that you are way too old and all your friends have vanished as they all have families now. Your parents are probably always thinking about ‘what’s next?’ in your life and will make sure you never remain lonely when they aren’t around to take care of you!
2. Arranged marriages are logical decisions and impulsive
   By far the biggest benefit of arranged marriage is that you now have someone to think rationally and leave out the emotions. Modern Indians who are exposed to diverse cultures via travel and media may wonder why marriages should be based on anything other than love? The answer lies in the fact that love marriage has the added risk of people not thinking straight and let their hormones dictate conditions. Once the magic of love fades away and the reality of married life hit you, you will probably realize that you made a bad choice!
3. Focus on Salary and profession ensure financial stability
   Just scan the marriage ads in newspapers and the marriage profiles on online matrimony sites. Young Indians will find it difficult to digest the fact that parents are focusing on salary and occupation along with caste and skin colour. While the focus on skin color or caste doesn’t really have any ground to defend, there is an element of rational thinking behind specifying the salary and occupation. Certain professions (such as a career with the military) have unique challenges and unless your family is exposed to the profession you may not appreciate the benefits and disadvantages. Picking on choosing desirable occupations such as IT or career with an MNC helps find matches that will be compatible with your expectations as well i.e a happy married life. Salary mismatches also lead to envy and other complexes among married couples. Listing them out clearly screens out all these issues upfront.
4. Arranged marriages minimize nasty surprises
   Diligently vetting the family background has its benefits. Firstly, we are trying to rule out unpleasant surprises after marriage. There is a slim chance of you finding out that your father-in-law has a criminal background or that there is a hereditary condition afflicting all the children in the family that you married into.
5. In arranged marriages, there is a greater incentive for adjustment
   Considering the fact that two people have voluntarily agreed to marry based on a fairly rigorous assessment, there is a tendency to accept the partner for who they are. Commitment to marriage is a key benefit that contributes to the success of arranged marriages.

Advantages of arranged marriage: Family support

1. There is greater financial support in arranged marriages
   When it comes to money, arranged marriages have another significant advantage over love marriages. They guarantee some sort of financial support at every stage of your life after marriage. First of all, marriage expenses are borne by parents (mostly the bride’s parents) and at every major milestone such as the birth of a child, housewarming etc., you will have plenty of relatives to bankroll your expenses. When things become difficult, you will have the choice of reaching out for help.
2. Greater involvement of family in conflict resolution
   In arranged marriages, two families come together and whether you like it or not, everybody has a stakeholder in the success of your marriage. When things get challenging with your married life, you have the option of seeking advice or having a shoulder to cry upon.
3. Easier to bring up children in arranged marriages
   Children look lovely when they are all dressed up and pose for photographs. But daily life for a working couple with children is challenging. Especially if you have a child with special needs. Even NRI couples that love alone in foreign countries have their parents travel all the way to take care of their newborn baby. Looking for help in taking care of your children from your parents becomes a no-brainer if you are in an arranged marriage.

Advantages of arranged marriage: Culture

1. Arranged marriage help you rediscover your culture
2. What better way to rediscover your roots and culture than to go through an organized marriage. The elaborate rituals that proceed arranged marriages, the rituals during the marriage and post-marriage celebrations bring to the fore culture and practices that have been in practice for generations.
3. Arranged marriages can offer better lifestyle compatibility
   Married couples will have an easier time dealing with each other if they actually understand and appreciate lifestyle choices. Many of the lifestyle options are dictated by culture and family values. For example- food habits, dress habits etc. Having a husband that has a similar lifestyle or understands why you are doing whatever you may be doing creates a harmonious marriage.
4. When you get old, arranged marriages are better!
   The arranged marriage system creates a feeling of dependency among the children and the family members on both sides. The system ensures that parents are took care of when they are old. Just remember that all of us ultimately get old and we may need our children as well as other relatives down the line.

Advantages of arranged marriage: Expert’s opinions

1. In arranged marriages, love comes after marriage.
   Our matriarchs had an interesting advantage over today’s Western women. Matriarchs did not begin their marriage with love. Rather, they were taught how to love. They entered marriage with an sincere determination to grow a love that would sustain their marriage for a lifetime.
2. After all, all marriages are arranged marriages
   The people we end up married to or partnered up with end up being similar to us in race, religion, class, and age, which means that they might not be all that different from the person that your mother would have chosen for you.
3. An arranged marriage is a planned love life
   The idea is that we must not leave our love lives to chance. We plan our education, our careers and our finances but we’re still uneasy with the idea that we should plan our love lives. I do not advocate organized marriages but I think a lot can be learned from them.

Thank you Guys!😊